i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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