Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
