The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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