Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
