i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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