i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
