wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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