Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
