I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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