he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
