I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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