Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize