Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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