Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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