respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
