we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
