i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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