Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
