Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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