Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
