I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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