I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
