Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My bed smells like the plague
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
