My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
