I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
