WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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