You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
