I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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