That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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