My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
