Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
