The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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