She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
