glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
