those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
