She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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