so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
