i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
