Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
