why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I AM VODKA MAN
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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