So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
