Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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