Yo dont text me then not text me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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