I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there was a trapeze. enough said
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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