why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
