well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
