it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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