MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
