They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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