she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
