the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
