Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
