I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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