you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
