this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
