Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
