Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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