Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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