sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
