How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
